Maybe in the past, you've been a victim of gaslighting, either by your friend, a parent, or significant other. Gaslighting is also known as a colloquialism, which essentially means that someone makes us question our own reality. For example, if you tell your partner it hurt your feelings when they do a certain thing, and they somehow blame it on you. "You're making things up," "You're crazy that never happened," are some things they may say. It can make a person feel crazy or irrational for feeling the way they feel. But is there a chance you may be unconsciously doing it to yourself? Sometimes we may accidentally overlook our own feelings and downplay our emotions. Here are some signs that can help you see if you may be unknowingly doing this...
Invalidating your own feelings can be the first sign that you're gaslighting yourself. Do you avoid letting yourself sit in emotion and instead just tell yourself you shouldn't feel sad, mad, angry, etc. about a situation? In reality, it's healthier to feel all the feels! Because it's normal when these reactions occur - in fact, thinking something is wrong with you is the second sign of gaslighting. Not accepting who you are for your true self can be damaging to self-love and confidence, which is essential when it comes to treating yourself right.
It's hard to not self-manipulate ourselves into thinking we may be too sensitive, too dramatic, too sad, etc. Minimizing these thoughts stops us from ever fully experiencing ourselves and the world around us. Especially when we judge ourselves based on other people's opinions. It's all too easy these days to compare ourselves with the "perfect" people all over our Instagram feeds or TikTok For You Page, but once again, doubting parts of ourselves is a form of self-hatred that pushes us away from ourselves.
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We can't fully be there for ourselves if these habits aren't stopped. Sadly, it's often easier said than done. But don't be scared to ask for help, whether it be from a friend or a professional, or even just journaling to get a better self-understanding. Because while we can ditch someone for gaslighting us, we're stuck with ourselves for life! So don't ignore the problems - learn to love yourself and watch your life change for the better...
